we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't deserve a penis
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
