I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
