rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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