oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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