Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
