That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
