I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize
