how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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