How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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