Do you still have your period?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
