He uses pillows to masturbate.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
