He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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