I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
