No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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