You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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