We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize