I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
