I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
