I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
