I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
