There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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