i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
