Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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