I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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