Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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