bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
