I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize