I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
