There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's just like the Real World with babies
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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