she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You dont lie about slip and slides
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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