A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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