The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
