RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
