need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
