i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
