Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
