Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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