Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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