508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
