How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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