using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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