Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
