I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
