His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
