Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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