I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Never joke about your clitoris.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize