go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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