you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
