It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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