Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
