Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
