Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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