why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
