she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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