I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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