I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
