No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
