yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
