yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
