So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
