dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
