New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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