I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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