...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
