i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
