That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
