I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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