I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize