If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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