I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
