I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
