Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
