Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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