Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
