Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
